


Perdition

by mymaskismywords



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Algonquian folklore, Blood and Violence, Character Death, F/M, For some reason I wrote all m/f relationships but everyone in the show is bisexual, Inspired By Until Dawn (Video Game), Mostly just something for me to keep writing during quarantine, No one's straight sorry, Relationships aren't super relevant, Survival Horror, cause I'm american, native american folklore, where COVID-19 is a political opinion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:20:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25026832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mymaskismywords/pseuds/mymaskismywords
Summary: “I thought I was in Hell.” She breathed, her voice broke for the first time, and she felt similar to the way she had in the van when they hit the guardrail. She felt overbalanced, with pressure building in her head, her heart hammering, and dangerously close to tears. “I thought I died, and that I was being punished for not believing. I thought God was angry. I thought I was gonna spend eternity running from those...demons. Watching my friends…” She broke off here, a sob wrenching its way out of her chest.Dr. Hill offered her a tissue and she took one but quickly sobered herself anyway. She swallowed a second sob and wiped her eyes.“I thought dawn would never come.” She finished.Until Dawn AU! with the Merlin cast and an OC from a novel I'm writing cause I love putting her in stories.
Relationships: Gwen/Lancelot (Merlin), Leon/Morgana (Merlin), Merlin (Merlin)/Original Female Character(s)





	Perdition

“You can start whenever you're ready.” Dr. Hill told Lilith Fischer. The girl was silent for a minute and Dr. Hill took the opportunity to check the summary on the file. Not that he really needed to read it again though. This case was most intriguing and he had memorized all of the black and white days ago.

  
Now was time to get into the gray. And this was where he was going to start.

  
With an nineteen year old girl who believed she and all of her friends had been attacked by monsters on top of a mountain.

  
He turned his attention to his patient, she had yet to look up from her lap.

  
He noticed some things immediately, the types of things he was trained to notice.

  
Lilith’s hands were resting atop the desk, her fingers drumming restlessly on the wood, her nails were chewed off to the quick and he spotted dried blood on her nail beds.

  
“Were you a nail biter before?” Dr. Hill asked and after a moment's hesitation, she looked up.

  
Her eyes were green, and bloodshot, making the color stand out. Her skin was pale, drawing attention to the purple bruising under her eyes, her lips had been ravaged by her teeth, and her hair was haphazardly pulled back, and reddish strands drifted into her face, only to be hastily pushed away.

  
“Yes.” She said finally, her voice rough from disuse, “I was.”

  
Dr. Hill nodded, “Has it gotten worse since the incident?”

  
She laughed, a tense, high laugh, “What do you think?”

  
Dr. Hill smiled calmly, “You're right. It was a stupid question.”

  
They fell back into silence and Dr. Hill was not going to be the first to break it. The clock on the desk ticked out the seconds, and Lilith kept her eyes glued to the swinging pendulum. Dr. Hill amused himself with his file and his spinning chair and really anything he could. He was a patient man.

  
“Can you please close the curtain?” She asked, the request was soft spoken but firm. Dr. Hill didn't question it, he simply stood and walked across the room to the window, it was a large bay window and swirls and eddies of snowflakes were drifting by the glass, making the world outside hazy and indefinite.

  
“Now what about the window makes you uneasy, Miss. Fischer?”

  
“The storm.” There was no hesitation, her voice was still low, but her response held some sharpness to it. Some urgency. Some desperation.

  
Dr. Hill was satisfied with this interaction, and he pulled the heavy curtain, blocking the view of the outside.

  
He sat down again. “Would you like to tell me what happened that night?”

  
She seemed to battle with herself. “You have the case file. I assume you already have all of our statements.”

  
Dr. Hill leaned back in his chair and crossed his legs. “You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to. But if you would like to talk about what you guys were up to before the sun went down, then I'd be glad to hear it.”

  
She studied the clock again, but there was something different. She seemed less defensive, as if she was simply gathering her thoughts. “This part isn't very interesting. Are you sure you don't want me to skip ahead?”

  
“I want you to tell me whatever it is you need to say. If you want to skip ahead, then that's fine. But if you want a recommendation, I often find it's easiest to start at the beginning.”

  
“I drove us all up there. Well, mostly everyone. I drove. If I hadn't-”

  
“If you hadn’t,” Dr. Hill interrupted, “Someone else would have.”

  
Lilith hesitated, perhaps she had debated this herself several times over. These kids made a lot of choices that night, and Dr. Hill was experienced enough to know that all of the choices they made must be haunting them. “If you hadn't driven, someone else would have, correct?”

  
She shrugged her shoulders, “I guess so. Maybe.”  
Dr. Hill didn't say anything but leaned back again, opening the session up for her to continue.

  
“I drove us all up to Mount Washington that day.” She continued again. “Maybe if I hadn't someone else would have…So I guess everything would still have happened.” She trailed off again, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

  
“What was the weather like on the drive up?” Dr. Hill asked, hoping to keep her from completely drawing into herself before he got into anything of substance.

  
Lilith cleared her throat and shook her head a bit, causing a few loose pieces of hair fall in her face, only to be hastily pushed back again.  
“Dark.” She said finally. “It was the middle of the day, but it seemed so dark…

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

The afternoon sun was muted by downy feather-gray clouds, with churning towers of leaden looking clouds gathering in the west. Dustings of snowflakes were falling from the tree branches overhead when the wind rattled through them. If they had the ability to speak, they would have groaned and complained as they swayed stiffly in the wind.

  
The air just _looked_ frozen. It probably audibly cracked with each gust of mountain wind.

  
Despite all of this, the atmosphere inside the old van was warm and cheerful. The occupants were armored against the elements with layers, each other’s body heat, and the overworked heater. Music was playing quietly, almost entirely unheard beneath the chatter and the rumble of the vehicle in the wintry hush.

  
“No, I don’t care what you say, jackalopes are real!” Arthur Pendragon burst out, trying to emphasize his point with his hands, but finding trouble in the close quarters.

  
“Arthur, you idiot, I promise they’re not!” Merlin Emrys argued from the front seat, nearly turned right around to face his friend.

  
“Why would everyone lie about it?!”

  
“I’m with Arthur on this.” Lilith spoke up from the driver’s seat. She didn’t take her eyes off the snowy road, but she could sense Merlin’s disbelieving look.

  
“Not you too.”

  
“What? Are you sure they’re not real?”

  
“Yes. I’m sure the rabbits with antlers aren’t real.”

  
“Look who’s suddenly a zoologist.” Morgana Pendragon laughed beside her brother.

  
“Don’t you even start, Morgana. You know I’m right.”

  
“Why don’t we just look it up?” Leon, suggested, always the voice of reason. His hand was closed around Morgana’s.

  
“No.” Lilith said pointedly.

  
“And why not?” Merlin asked.

  
“‘Cause I don’t wanna be embarrassed.”

  
Merlin rolled his eyes, but slumped back in his seat, laughing good naturedly.

  
The radio droned on, small puffs of snow continued to fall. The wind guttered over the rocky landscape, and the heater gasped and sighed.

  
The van lost traction for a split second on the slushy road and Lilith cursed. The whole thing was over in the blink of an eye, but her heart still beat loudly and her grip on the steering wheel tightened.  
Merlin reached a hand over to squeeze her shoulder.

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“I don’t like driving in the winter.” Lilith interrupted her telling of the night to add. For several minutes she had been avoiding eye contact, instead opting to watch the pencil Dr. Hill was using glide across his notebook. He hadn’t started taking real notes yet.

  
She cleared her throat again, finally raising her eyes. “I got in a car accident years ago on my way to a Christmas party. No one was hurt, it still shook me up a bit.”

  
Dr. Hill nodded. He pursed his lips. “Are you afraid of flying, Miss. Fischer?”

  
“Terrified. I’ve gotten better, but I still have to knock myself out for long flights.”

  
“There’s a different fear attached to the phobia of flying. It’s all about the loss of control.” He explained. He reached under his desk, where a small fridge of bottled waters was housed. He offered her one, and she hesitated a second before accepting.

  
“Yes well, I don’t fly the plane. Losing control of a car seems like a different situation.”

  
Dr. Hill dipped his chin, “Perfectly true.”

  
“Right.”

  
He waited as she took a sip from the bottle. “Whenever you’re ready to continue.”

//////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

“This is the first time you’ve been up here?” Leon asked, a few minutes after the van slid. The question was directed at the Pendragon siblings.

  
“Yeah, our uncle bought the place last year from the Washingtons. Don’t know why, he doesn’t ski or anything.” Arthur explained.

  
“It was nice of you guys to invite us all.” Lilith said.

  
“Of course!” Morgana exclaimed. “Perfect vacation. No Uther, no Agravaine. A mountain cabin all to ourselves.”

  
“Speaking of ourselves.” Merlin said, “Has anyone heard from the other car?”

  
The other half of their group was traveling in a rental car, and had for the most part stayed on their tail the entire journey. However, Lilith had stopped for gas at the last town and the others had gone on ahead.

  
“Do you even know where you’re going?” Arthur had asked Gwaine while the whole group briefly stretched their legs in the gas station parking lot.

  
Gwaine had pointed to the gray peak and said, simply, “Up.” His eyes sparkling with characteristic humor.

  
Leon shuffled around in the back, searching through his coat and his backpack for his phone. When he eventually found it, he groaned. “No service.”

  
“Typical.” Morgana said. “I just hope they didn’t drive off a cliff.”

  
The road was small and mostly unused. It was hardly plowed, slushy, and seemed to only get narrower and more and more winding as they climbed the mountain. They slowed and turned a sharp corner.

  
A particularly strong gale came galloping down from the mountain top, disturbing the unpacked snow on the cliff face above the car.

  
Huge clouds of snowflakes dusted over the car and the road, creating a white out. It was as if an entire blizzard had suddenly unleashed on them. The road ahead, the valley below, even most of the jagged, rocky cliff face on their left, were obscured by powder.

  
Lilith slowed to a stop, straining to see five feet ahead. Her knuckles were as white as the snow on the steering wheel.

  
“It doesn’t seem safe to stop.” Arthur looking out the back window.

  
“You guys said no one comes up here and the others were ahead.” Lilith explained, “I can’t see the road and there’s a sheer drop ten feet to our right. I’d rather take the slight chance of getting rear ended over the high chance of us being the ones to drive off a cliff.”

  
No one objected.

  
The wind tapered off after a minute and the drift settled too. Though the road was now almost entirely covered in a thin layer of snow, at least they could see the guardrails.

  
Lilith urged the van on again.

  
“Agravaine wanted us to stay last winter.” Morgana mused, looking at Arthur, “Remember that?”

  
Arthur scoffed. “Yeah, not a great idea on his part.”

  
“What happened last winter?” Merlin asked.

  
“The reasons the Washingtons sold the cabin.” Morgana explained. “Last winter, the kids were up with a couple of friends for some weekend getaway. The daughters, Hannah and Beth, both disappeared into the woods. They were never found. No bodies or anything.”

  
“Argavaine said the family isn’t handling it well.” Arthur added.

  
Leon shook his head, “I can’t even imagine. Who would handle that well?”

  
“That’s awful.” Lilith said.

  
The towering lead-colored clouds were starting to close in, bringing with them waves of fat, snowflakes. The road seemed to narrow even more and curled up, and out of sight.

  
Lilith drove into the curve and from above, quite apart from the falling snow, a huge, discolored mass dropped heavily into the middle of the road, only a few feet shy of the hood.

  
There were shouts of surprise and Lilith swerved to avoid hitting the foreign object. The wheels slipped as the van swerved, turning in a half circle, before the passenger side hit the guardrail, accompanied by the sound of crunching metal.

  
“Fuck.” Lilith breathed into the stunned silence of the vehicle. “Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”

  
“It’s okay.” Merlin whispered, himself looking paler than usual. He coughed. “It’s okay.” He repeated, louder. “Is everyone alright?”

  
“Yeah, we’re good.” Leon answered, quietly.

  
“Good thing we weren’t going much faster. This is a top heavy car. We might have flipped right over the barrier.” Arthur said, laughing stiffly.

  
Lilith knew that he meant the comment lightly, but the sudden image of the van rolling down the side of the mountain and crashing into the valley several hundred feet below hit her like a punch. She sucked in a breath, more of a gasp really.

  
“It’s okay.” Merlin said again, gentler, reaching out to squeeze her shoulder. She noticed that his hand was shaking.

  
“The van’s still running.” Arthur pointed out, tone more serious. “Turn around and pull off to the other side.”

  
Lilith took in another shaky breath, nodded, and did what she was told. She pulled as far off to the right side as the limited conditions allowed and turned the hazard lights on.  
The object in the road was plainly visible in the rearview mirror.

  
“What is it?” Morgana wondered aloud, craning her neck to look out the rear window.

  
“No clue.” Leon said, also turned around.

  
Lilith’s heart was still beating too fast in her chest. Her brain felt like it was pressing against her skull and she felt embarrassingly close to crying. Her neck hurt and the seatbelt felt much too constricting around her throat. She needed a breather. “Let’s go find out.” She said, surprised by the lack of tremor in her voice. She unbuckled and climbed out of the driver’s seat before anyone could answer.

  
The others followed a bit more slowly, wincing and rubbing at forming bruises as they unfolded themselves from the vehicle. Arthur and Leon assessed the damage on the passenger side.

  
“Not too bad.” Leon told Lilith at her questioning look. “I’m a bit surprised the airbags didn’t go off, though.”

  
“They’re...iffy.” Lilith answered, her heart was just starting to return to normal.

  
“That’s comforting.” Morgana joked and an uneasy laugh went through the group. Lilith was a bit comforted to see that she wasn’t the only one a bit shaken up.

  
They had yet to move any closer to whatever had fallen in the road.

  
It was Arthur who broke away first, making his way slowly back down the road. Everyone else joined him, picking their way through the slush and the freshly fallen snow. After only a few feet, Merlin yelped as his feet slid out from under him. Lilith and Leon both reached for him but lost their footing as well.

  
The Pendragons stayed upright and decided to rub it in by laughing, much more freely than they had a minute ago, while their friends struggled to stand and brush cold mud off their clothes.  
“Black ice.” Merlin huffed once him and the others were stable. “No wonder we slid.”

  
Everyone stayed closer together, being more careful not to slip and eventually stopped about a foot from the carcass. Upon close inspection that was definitely what it was. The poor creature was a mess of twisted limbs, exposed bone, torn sinew, and frozen blood. Its head was only partially attached and twisted grotesquely. It’s black eyes were glassy and blood flecked around its white muzzle.  
“It’s a deer.” Arthur said, unnecessarily.

  
“Did it jump? Fall?” Morgana asked, looking up the cliff face where the evergreen forest was visible about fifteen feet overhead.

  
“Oh yeah, he just decided to take a swan dive onto our car.” Arthur snarked and she opened her mouth to retort.

  
“It’s been eaten.” Lilith interrupted, loudly. “Look.” The poor animal had been torn into, teeth and claw marks obvious.

  
“Wolves, most likely.” Leon said, casually sliding between Arthur and Morgana, who were both still glaring at each other.

  
“And then they...tossed it off?” Merlin looked skeptically back up at the top of the cliff.

  
“That’s ridiculous.” Arthur scoffed.

  
“Do you have a better explanation?” Merlin shot back.

  
“Look, the snow’s getting worse, the road is icy, and we’re standing right in the middle of it with a deer carcass. Let’s just get on, yeah?” Leon suggested, showing a little bit of his impatience in his voice.

  
“We can’t leave it in the road.” Lilith pointed out. “Someone else might hit it.”

  
“The others were in front of us and we already know that no one comes up here.” Morgana kept looking sideways at the deer. She shivered and rubbed her hands together when a cold wind came down on them.

  
“Let’s just move it.” Arthur said, squaring his shoulders. “Leon, Merlin.”

  
The boys all stepped closer to consider the task ahead and find somewhere to grip. Leon picked up one of the poor thing’s legs, which came loose with a sickly tearing sound. Morgana gagged and turned away. Lilith offered a brief pat on the back as comfort before stepping away to help move the unwieldy body.

  
They put him as far off the road as possible and marched back to the van in silence.

  
“It’s probably not far now.” Arthur said once they reached the vehicle. “Why don’t I drive the rest of the way?”

  
Lilith nodded. “Just make sure to stay on the right.”

  
“Yeah, yeah, whatever.”

///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Lilith’s water bottle was half empty. Little ripples appeared on the surface when she tapped her fingers hard on the desk. The clock was ticking by the seconds. She matched the rhythm with her fingers.

  
Tick-Tap

  
Tick-Tap

  
Tick-Tap

  
“What do you believe ate the deer?” Dr. Hill asked for the second time. She had pretended not to hear him the first time.

  
“Leon said wolves. Makes sense to me.”

  
“Do you believe that?”

  
Lilith shrugged. “I’ve never seen a wolf, Dr. Hill.”

  
“You didn’t see any that night?”

  
She shook her head.

  
“What did you see on Mt. Washington?”

  
Lilith tilted her head, and continued to study the half-filled water bottle. It claimed to provide much needed fluoride.

  
“I don’t think I believe in God, Dr. Hill.” She raised her eyes to see his reaction.

  
He was professional, keeping his face neutral, but he leaned forward a little. The subject change had interested him. “Is that a recent realization?”

  
“No. I’ve struggled with it for a long time. My family can be religious. And I disagreed with a lot of the things they preached. It always seemed hateful to me. There just seemed to be so much punishment from this supposed merciful and forgiving being. I liked to imagine death as peaceful, not blessed or damned.”

  
He occasionally glanced up to look at her as she spoke, slowly working her way through her thoughts and to the real point. He was bent over his notebook, taking careful notes for the first time. Lilith didn’t bother trying to read them. He finished scribbling.

  
Lilith leaned closer, over the organized desk. Her movement did catch him a bit off guard this time, he sat up straight.

  
“I thought I was in Hell.” She breathed, her voice broke for the first time, and she felt similar to the way she had in the van when they hit the guardrail. She felt overbalanced, with pressure building in her head, her heart hammering, and dangerously close to tears. “I thought I died, and that I was being punished for not believing. I thought God was angry. I thought I was gonna spend eternity running from those...demons. Watching my friends…” She broke off here, a sob wrenching its way out of her chest.

  
Dr. Hill offered her a tissue and she took one but quickly sobered herself anyway. She swallowed a second sob and wiped her eyes.

  
“I thought dawn would never come.” She finished.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a long time since I played Until Dawn, and I'm not gonna replay it any time soon so I'm probably gonna watch a YouTube playthrough and mostly go along with that story line.


End file.
